The Voices Inside my Head

One thing I struggle with is is the fact that I am a great person, or I feel like I am a great person and girl. Yet, I am not the one being asked to formals, out on dates, or for my phone number. I constantly am getting comments from people saying ” you’re intimidating” or ” you are the whole package so guys are afraid of you.”  This is so frustrating to me to hear all the time. It doesn’t make any sense. I get it the easy girls are going to get the most attention because they are putting out. I understand that not all attention from guys is good attention, but when good, genuine girls are getting asked and have guys on their arms and you continually don’t it truly starts to take a toll on you and makes you think what am I doing wrong? I know that patience is the key. I know that but when you are so frustrated at something it doesn’t help that you constantly see people happy with each other and you can’t help but wonder when your time is. When is your person going to show up? When are you going to stop wasting you time on someone to only find out he is a Fuckboy? The truth is I’m tired. Tired of waiting. Tired of being strong. Tired of feeling like I am not good enough for anyone. Most of all I am tired of people constantly asking me ” Do you have a boyfriend yet?” I am tired of people telling me that when the time is right it will happen. I’m so over waiting. I’m scared that I am going to end up alone when all I’ve ever wanted was to raise a family. I know I am still young. I get that. I just wish that I too could find someone to relate with on another level.  Life isn’t fair. It is the farthest from it an I hate it. I get that one day I will understand why I had to go through all of this. I understand that there is someone out there for me, but today I can’t take the thought of being alone anymore. Today I am weak. Sometimes you need to breakdown to become strong again. I guess that day is today.

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